Counselling Skills: A Guide to Core Mental Health Education Resources

 

Introduction

Practicing as a mental health practitioner requires more than just good intentions—it demands specific skills that can be learned, practiced, and refined over time. Whether you are a seasoned practitioner or someone considering a career in counselling, understanding the fundamental techniques is crucial for effective client support. Counselling is about being genuinely present with another human being who is struggling, and sometimes that means admitting you do not have all the answers.

In this post, we explore critical mental health education resources with a focus on core counselling skills. These are indispensable tools in every counsellor’s toolkit, rooted in humanistic psychology and refined through practical frameworks like Carl Rogers’ Core Conditions and Gerard Egan’s Three Stage Model.

Nine core counselling skills

The nine counselling skills that are the core mental health education resources for any counsellor to explore in detail are:

  1. Unconditional positive regard
  2. Genuineness
  3. Empathetic understanding
  4. Active listening
  5. Questioning
  6. Paraphrasing
  7. Reflecting
  8. Summarising
  9. Challenging

Humanist psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers identified three ‘core conditions’ for growth that are practised as skills by counsellors:

  1. Unconditional positive regard
  2. Genuineness
  3. Empathetic understanding

Dr. Gerard Egan believed that, in addition to possessing the core conditions, counsellors also needed to help clients make decisions, clarify and set goals, and support them in implementing their actions. To this effect, he developed a Three-Stage Model:

  • Stage 1 – Getting the story
  • Stage 2 – Development of possibilities for change
  • Stage 3 – Strategies for change and closing the session

Unconditional Positive Regard

For a client to grow and achieve their potential, they need to be valued for themselves. To develop unconditional positive regard as a skill, counsellors must separate the actions and beliefs of the client from the client as a person. The effective counsellor must display an attitude that says, “I accept you as you are”, even when they may not agree with the client or may disapprove of their actions.

For the counsellor (or anyone using counselling skills), having unconditional positive regard means suspending judgement about the client or their behaviour. Normally, we tend to judge others based on our own beliefs and values (Ort et al., 2023).

The counsellor’s role is not to change the client, but to help the client change themselves – a process they have already begun by seeking counselling. Counsellors may encounter clients with differing opinions.

Genuineness

Genuineness, also known as congruence (Kolden et al., 2019), is another attitude that can be developed into a skill. It may be the most important basic skill, as clients often sense when the counsellor is not genuine. If the counsellor is merely going through the motions, the client is unlikely to be open and forthcoming. If the counsellor is perceived as inauthentic, trust will break down, and a meaningful counselling relationship will not develop. Genuineness stems from a sincere desire to help the client find their solutions, not to solve their problems for them. It requires the counsellor to be authentic and not put on a façade. Suspending judgment increases both genuineness and unconditional positive regard.

Empathetic Understanding

Empathy (Howe, 2013) is the ability to understand what the client is feeling, not sympathetically, but with accuracy and sensitivity in the here and now. It is shown through attentive listening and appropriate responses, seeing the situation from the client’s perspective rather than your own. Sympathy involves feeling pity and sorrow for someone’s misfortune, with the focus on your feelings, not theirs. In contrast, empathy focuses solely on the client’s emotional experience. Bereavement counsellors must demonstrate empathy, not sympathy.

Recognising Sympathy vs. Empathy:
When you say something like, “I know exactly how you feel”, that’s sympathy. Empathy sounds like:

  • “You say you feel angry about…”
  • “Can you give me an example of when it happens?”
  • “What you seem to be saying is…”
  • “Am I hearing you correctly…?”

For instance, this study highlights that empathy makes care providers feel more satisfied with their job and helps them stay mentally strong, while sympathy can make them feel more emotionally drained. Hence, teaching care providers how to be truly empathetic to reduce burnout and improve the care they give is crucial (Thirioux et al., 2016).

Active Listening

Active listening is listening for meaning. It involves orienting your whole attention towards the speaker, including their body language and tone of voice.

Dr. Gerard Egan developed the S.O.L.E.R. technique (Stickley, 2011):

  • Sit squarely – preferably at a 5 o’clock angle to avoid staring
  • Open posture – avoid crossing arms or legs
  • Lean slightly forward – shows interest without intimidating
  • Eye contact – maintain without staring
  • Relax – be natural to help the client feel at ease

Three Aspects of Listening include:

  1. Linguistic – words and metaphors
  2. Para-linguistic – volume, pitch, timing
  3. Non-verbal – posture, facial expression

Questioning

Questioning becomes increasingly important as the counselling process develops.

There are two types:

  • Open-ended questions – encourage elaboration (e.g., “How did that make you feel?”)
  • Closed-ended questions – obtain specific info (e.g., “Do you feel safe?”)

For instance, one of the studies looked at different types of therapist questions in counselling sessions. Questions were grouped into:
• Open questions about thoughts (OQT)
• Open questions about feelings (OQF)
• Closed questions about facts (CQF)
• Other closed questions (CQO)

They studied what clients said before therapists asked these questions and how clients responded afterward. When clients talked a lot about themselves, therapists asked more open questions about thoughts and other closed questions. When clients showed more emotions, therapists asked more open questions about feelings (Freites et al., 2023).

This generalizes that therapists use different types of questions based on clients’ expressions, emphasizing how question style influences therapy outcomes.

Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing means rephrasing the client’s message to:

  • Convey understanding
  • Encourage elaboration
  • Simplify complex ideas
  • Check for accuracy

Paraphrasing is not repeating. It condenses the message into key points.

Example:
Client: “I don’t want to go on holiday with my friends anymore. It causes tension with my partner.”
Counsellor: “You seem to be saying that you no longer feel relaxed with those friends, and it’s creating issues with your partner because you can’t discuss it with them.”

Further research is required on this aspect related to counselling. Although paraphrasing is a key part of active listening, there’s little research on how effective it is. In this study, students who heard their opinions paraphrased found the listener more socially attractive, but paraphrasing did not make them feel more satisfied with the conversation or more understood compared to just getting a simple acknowledgement (Weger et al., 2010).

Reflecting

Reflecting (Dallos, 2009) helps clients feel understood by mirroring their emotions and responses.

This involves:

  • Listening closely
  • Observing body language
  • Identifying and reflecting the client’s emotions
  • Using verbal cues like: “You feel angry because you were passed over for promotion.”

Mirroring:
Subtle mimicry of the client’s body language and tone can build rapport and trust.

Summarising

Summarising condenses key points and themes, and it:

  • Draws out common themes
  • Brings closure to the session
  • Prepares for the next session
  • Reinforces insights and actions

This study highlights that while summaries are a valuable counselling skill that can improve understanding and accuracy, their effectiveness depends on using the right type, maintaining accuracy, and attentively reflecting the client’s perspective to avoid feelings of being unheard (Quilligan and Silverman, 2012).

Challenging

Challenging is a higher-level skill, not typically practised in the initial stages of a counsellor’s journey without supervision.

It is used to:

  • Identify discrepancies in a client’s story
  • Encourage progress and deeper insight

Challenging belongs in Stage 2 of Egan’s Model – used cautiously and sensitively to avoid conflict.

Conclusion

Counselling allows individuals to come up with their answers and implement positive changes in their behaviour. These competencies provide space for individuals to be heard, valued, and empowered. Whether you are starting or wanting to build on what you are doing, the following are helpful steps towards building these essential competencies as part of the broad mental health education resources:

  • Practice active listening in everyday conversations
  • Work on suspending judgment when people share difficult experiences
  • Pay attention to non-verbal communication in all your interactions
  • Seek out role-playing opportunities to practice specific techniques
  • Find a mentor or supervisor who can provide honest feedback
  • Join peer consultation groups for ongoing learning and support
  • Join short certification courses to sharpen your skills and gain formal qualifications.

Comprehend that becoming skilled in counselling requires time, patience with yourself, and dedication to ongoing learning. These nine fundamental skills are a good start, but you will find yourself becoming proficient in them through practice, supervision, and working with the people you care about. The investment in that skill is rewarding not only in terms of your professional efficacy but in every relationship. When people feel truly heard, understood, and accepted, miraculous healing and growth occur.

References

  1. Dallos, R., 2009. Reflective Practice in Psychotherapy and Counselling, 1st ed. ed. Open University Press, Maidenhead, England.
  2. Freites, E., Hill, C.E., Seo, A., Milheim, E., Williams, J., Kivlighan Jr., D.M., 2023. Antecedents and consequences of open and closed questions in intake sessions of psychodynamic psychotherapy. Psychother. Res. 33, 362–373. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2022.2081100
  3. Howe, D., 2013. Empathy: What it is and why it matters, 1st ed. ed. Palgrave Macmillan, Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-137-27643-8
  4. Kolden, G.G., Wang, C.-C., Austin, S.B., Chang, Y., Klein, M.H., 2019. Congruence/Genuineness, in: Psychotherapy Relationships That Work. Oxford University Press, pp. 323–350. https://doi.org/10.1093/med-psych/9780190843953.003.0009
  5. Ort, D., Moore, C., Farber, B.A., 2023. Therapists’ perspectives on positive regard. Pers.-Centered Exp. Psychother. 22, 139–153. https://doi.org/10.1080/14779757.2022.2104751
  6. Quilligan, S., Silverman, J., 2012. The skill of summary in clinician–patient communication: A case study. Patient Educ. Couns. 86, 354–359. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pec.2011.07.009
  7. Stickley, T., 2011. From SOLER to SURETY for effective non-verbal communication. Nurse Educ. Pract. 11, 395–398. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.nepr.2011.03.021
  8. Thirioux, B., Birault, F., Jaafari, N., 2016. Empathy Is a Protective Factor of Burnout in Physicians: New Neuro-Phenomenological Hypotheses Regarding Empathy and Sympathy in Care Relationship. Front. Psychol. 7. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00763
  9. Weger, H., Castle, G.R., Emmett, M.C., 2010. Active Listening in Peer Interviews: The Influence of Message Paraphrasing on Perceptions of Listening Skill. Int. J. List. 24, 34–49. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904010903466311